My life is starting over and I feel weird about it

In May I graduated college with my bachelor's degree.

In June I moved fourteen hours away to move in with my long distance partner of three years.

In July I got a job with my degree! I was so excited, especially because I was told I couldn't do it.

In August I felt so grateful for everything I had been given.

In September I turned 22, moved into a new apartment with my partner, totalled my car, and lost my grandpa, who passed away unexpectedly in his sleep.

In October I attended his memorial and juggled the insurance company phone calls while trying to keep up with new responsibilities at my job.

In November I felt a distance growing between my partner and I, and a dissatisfaction with how life had become.

In December I spent every day wondering what was wrong and trying to communicate with someone who kept shutting me out.

In January I discovered he started cheating on me around the time my grandpa passed away--while I invested all this energy into trying to cultivate a sense of home for us during this difficult time.

This is where I am now.

in BenignExistenceby mirmako

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98%

3mo

smooth_relation_744

3mo

This is adult life. If it’s not one thing, it’s the fucking other. I remember feeling she’ll shocked after I graduated with my first degree. Life comes at you pretty fast. I’m sorry for your poor Grandpa, bless him. Your partner can fuck all the way off. Keep moving, life will be up and down, but you’ve got lots of good stuff coming your way. X

SK095

3mo

I’m so sorry about your grandpa :( ..you are still very young and so much life ahead of you with many obstacles and heartbreaks in front of you but you have a job you - I assume - very much like and so much opportunity ahead of you. Keep moving forward and you’ll smash it <3

Giraffiesaurus

3mo

My sympathies for the loss of your grandfather. It’s never simple when you lose someone; just hold on to the knowledge that you have all you need to make it through this.

If you’re going to break up, do it and don’t look back. You sound like a wonderful person with high aspirations for life, and you should go for it. You might want to be single for a time and that’s okay. You’ve got a job, so when you’re ready, start looking into things you might like as hobbies. Good way to meet friends and more.

Take care.

MelodicMelodies

3mo

I've been going on an emotional journey lately, and the quote I can't stop thinking about is "life is some high highs, and some low lows."

When you're in the highs, it's wonderful! I've been there lately, and I'm so blessed by them. But when the lows are low, it's utterly terrible. You have my empathy and love. Being cheated on is absolutely awful.

Know that it's not anything you did or didn't do--this is all about your partner, and their lack of self-control and consideration of you.

You clearly have accomplished so much--adult life is hard! But you're killing it! Be proud, and after you've taken time to do what you need to to move forward, keep living your best!

I hope you find peace and fulfillment 🤗

slurrmaid

3mo

You’re really getting the dirty and raw “Welcome to Adulting”. Big OOF. I am so sorry for your loss of your grampa and learning who your guy really was.

As someone young but still older and in different seasons with different losses, I can tell you it’s sometimes a Season of Nothing Happening or a Season of Everything from All Directions. It’s rarely in the middle. But even then, you get what you need.

When so much gets ripped away in short order, we get an opportunity to make Home from the remnants. What they don’t tell us (and what we often can’t see) is that there is a rich Life in those remnants. It’s going to take some time. And if you didn’t feel weird about all this I would have a lot of questions for you.

New is weird. But it’s only weird because it’s new. (This loops ad nauseam.)

I’m sorry your partner turned out to be on a different path than you. Wish ‘em well, now it’s your season. You are coming into your own, and it’s a new day.

I know the best is yet to come. It’s always darkest before dawn (or that’s what I tell myself). Be well, friend. X

xenophilian

3mo

Shit. Well, some years are like that, I hate to say.

When my mom died, I moved to another city, started university & broke up with my bf of three years. A lot of changes all at once.

Hour-Elderberry1901

3mo

This post so accurately describes life.

BlackJeepW1

3mo

That is a lot of traumatic events and really big changes in a very short period of time. I hope you are able to give yourself time and space to sort out how you are feeling about everything and take good care of yourself.

Majestic_Course6822

3mo

Not to downplay OP's feelings or struggles, but that's not a lot of traumatic events, that's life. We all lose our grandparents, experience romantic breakups, and have to start over in new places. These things are part of the human experience and we are absolutely able and equipped emotionally to cope with these events. If we label every negative experience as trauma, we risk duempowering ourselves, and we lose sight of the actual real trauma being inflicted. OP doesn't sound traumatized. She sounds fed up and sad, but still strong and capable of finding her way.

yeehaw3339

3mo

I went through something really similar about 5 years ago. Everyday I woke up and my life felt like a nightmare. I hoped I was waking up from a terrible dream, but it was reality. I’m really sorry you’re going through this, it’s so so hard. The pain of that much trauma in such a short amount of time is so overwhelming. I hope you start to find peace and joy returns to your life soon.

FYI a few months after that low time in my life I met my now spouse and happier than I ever dreamed I could be. I like to think my grandpa sent my spouse to me exactly when I was ready. It’s cliche, but it gets better 💜

Beagle-Mumma

3mo

I'm so very sorry for your Grandpa's loss. And I'm also sorry your partner wasn't who you thought he was when you moved. Deep breaths. You're obviously resourceful and I'm sure once you've had some time to gain perspective things will get better.

velvetmastermind

3mo

I don't have enough emotional bandwidth to contribute.. but I did want to give you a big hug 💜 And say that you are so strong to be here right now.