1/2
i know they don’t always mean it in a mean way but it still bothers me. also i said yes to being diagnosed and no to being in seperate classes (i wasn’t diagnosed until after my schooling)
stuff like this always annoys me
Vent/Ranti agree.. totally made me feel so shit n i stopped talking to them cuz wtf am i meant to say when they question my existence ..
I usually end up doing the same after a small lecture on how insensitive it is. If you don't have friends or a community who aren't ignorant, I hope you find it soon. It'll take a huge load off your shoulders.
i don’t think my family or friends are ignorant persay but their perception of my masking sometimes is just so off base, when i am passing as NT they think i’m ok and i think they subconsciously forget im struggling to keep that act up, bc they take it for face value yknow
ps this isn’t a friend or family member it’s some guy i met off a dating app
We're dog paddling furiously to stay afloat!
This is an excellent description. I’m stealing this
Gladly sharing!
Oh my same🙄like tge last eight months Im having bad burnout and heavy depression and just because I dont cry all the time and sometimes I smile its like "oh you were doing fin right?" umm no. Im currently self diagnosed so Im not coming out to anyone, really hoping to get a diagnosis at some point. But man that stuff is so annoying. Like, no, not everyone is sheldon cooper and thats okay... Like please go away with your stereotypes
Oh, the mansplaining is REAL! I thought it was a friend… this dude barely KNOWS you?!? Psssht. Delete.
Also, IMO an apology isn’t an apology if there’s an “if” or a “but” at the end.
EDIT: I’m now seeing comments about the “acoustic” thing, I thought it was just an autocorrect typo. If they were saying “acoustic” purposefully to make fun if autism then they’re being a dick.
People are really unaware that it’s actually a spectrum. Sometimes people are being a dick, sometimes they are genuinely just uninformed. In situations like this (if I have the energy) I just say “it’s a really large spectrum and most autism research hasn’t been done until somewhat recently. Many people need a lot of accommodations, many people do not need as much.”
At that point, they now have the information and now I’m judging their reaction. Hopefully they say something like “oh wow I didn’t know that, that’s interesting” or “thanks for sharing” or they ask you further questions out of interest. If they continue to be argumentative in tone then they clearly don’t understand the fact that someone with a diagnosis knows more than they do about their own diagnosis.
I spilt my heart to a guy over two and a half months and today I took off the mask and said flat out I was depressed and he came back with I have to get to the root of my depression. Like bro, have you even listened to what my life is like for the past two months?
People are dense and they do not truly listen.
I blocked him everywhere. Done wasting my breath for people. Like you said, talk about something else.
But then the relationship is ruined because you know you’ll never be seen or heard accurately.
I just did the biggest eye roll reading that. The fact that they used the word “acoustic” to mean autistic is a red flag within itself. Sorry you had to deal with this.
I didn't even know that was a thing! Would you you be willing to elaborate on the context/implications of that term? Would love to know more so I don't get confused in the wild 🙏
Edit: I used Google and now get a sense, but am still worried I'm missing something. No pressure to explain, but would appreciate any insights beyond what is written on "know your meme"
it just is a sign that they often joke about autism in inappropriate spaces, which in itself isn't the end of the world, but is a good indicator of peoples opinions
But also using acoustic as autistic originated because of autocorrect, so if someone sent it in a text or something it’s still possibly a genuine typo
the thing is, this is one of the many words that appear in x minority subculture, becomes mainstream and start being used against those same people ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Using the context from the rest of the messages, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a typo.
See I thought that was a typo. My ability to read into peoples behavior and see their true intentions is so fucked
I used to think it was a typo too until I went on TikTok and saw a bunch of NT use it as a meme.
I RAN here to say this! "Acoustic" is a big red flag. 🚩
Well many of us are actually too socially aware, cause that's what's required for masking, and it's a survival mechanism.
Also really don't like they said 'properly diagnosed', like how else are you gonna be diagnosed? Probably taking it too literally, but I don't like what it implies. I would almost for the heck of it say 'no I'm inproperly diagnosed' XD
I was gonna say the same, masking and learning to read social cues is the “sink or swim” of autism. We either learn or get ostracized by our peers.
Oh, I was also ostracized as a little kid for not being able to read social cues and had a hard time with masking the things that makes me "weird".
I like using the phrase ‘diagnosed via peer review’ given how many autists clocked me before I knew myself haha
I love that!!
I WISH I was socially unaware!!!!! But I'm way to socially aware and it makes interacting with anyone outside of my "people" painful and exhausting because I notice everything. Even the things people think go unnoticed. And my pattern recognition is always joining the party. I leave every social interaction replaying the whole thing, over and over analyzing every single second. And I'm sorry but the fact that I am "self" diagnosed is not any less valid and really no one's business. If someone says they are autistic I believe them. No offense to any of us but who WANTS to be autistic??? Like I love myself, but if I could have a life without all these struggles I'd choose that. I always say I wish I could go through life with no self awareness. I feel like neurotypical people get the privilege of being truly socially unaware. They just breeze through things. Neurodivergent people are the ones who have to be more self aware or we are even more mistreated. This frustrates me so much.
I feel that on such a deep level, my social interactions are exactly like that. I have 100 tabs open dedicated to making myself more palatable, well I try to do it less, but it's so hard to unlearn a survival mechanism.
I tell my husband all the time that I work so hard to make sure I'm not being too much for people to handle all while they don't give one flying fuck if they are making me uncomfortable. But if I complain I'm expecting too much or not being flexible enough. This has all lead to me living a very isolated life. And I don't like it. 😞
I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm quite isolated myself but I am mostly happy that way.
I do enjoy being alone. But I would like more people to be alone with if that makes sense. Most of my hobbies are not group hobbies. But it would be fun to have someone to sit and do our hobbies together with no pressure to entertain each other.
That absolutely makes sense! I sometimes go out to make photos of nature, with a friend that also likes to make photos. And it's honestly one of my favorite things.
I want someone to sit and color with or do crochet projects with. Or just sit and watch documentaries or dumb TV with. Or just to go to the beach with and search for cool rocks and other treasures.
Awww I want to go and look for rocks on the beach!!
I wish it were easier finding local to do people things with haha.
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5d
I don't think theres much evidence that people say they're autistic for attention. People might wrongly diagnose themselves, but usually they do that because they have spent a long time feeling like something was wrong with them, and they feel that autism might be the explanation.
People self diagnose with a lot of things for attention, from food allergies to mental illness to neurodivergence.
Which, ironically, is almost always a sign of something not healthy going on in their lives/mind, IMO.
But just because a small amount of a population has attention seeking behaviors (for whatever reason) doesn’t mean people should just automatically assume someone who masks well is faking it.
But that’s the point we’re at, unfortunately.
(I’m also GF and have invisible chronic illnesses, so I see it in all segments lol)
In general I believe that if people are doing things for attention it's because they fundamentally do really need some attention. Everyone's so lonely.
Right, as I said it usually is stemming from further issues in and of itself
Unfortunately it can lead to further undermining of niche/minority communities if it makes their voices seem less valid, or like they’re overreacting for attention.
So it’s a complicated situation to navigate, IMO. I both have empathy and see where it hurts X community.
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5d
I truthfully don’t mind how popular GF has become because it’s created a huge boom in products available (I’ve been GF for ten years and my nephew was temporarily 15+ years ago)
But yes, it can lead to people not taking it seriously unfortunately and that can lead to hospitalization if you’re severely celiacs
I had a family friend come over for dinner who made a point to request the meal wasn’t made with sugar or wheat. Everything went great, then after dinner she put out a cake she had brought over as a gesture for dessert.
She brought a cake and ate it. A full on regular wheat and sugar cake. Right after demanding we not serve her sugar and wheat. Rolled my eyes so hard lol.
So just to point out something that could explain this behaviour: I have IBS like a lot of autistic people and my dietitian has me on a low FODMAP diet. I have app that tells me to gram what I can eat of each type of food before I will become ill. So I need to eat only a very small amount of wheat and certain sugars. So I will ask for gluten free option at dinner in a restaurant and then I might get a dessert with a small amount of wheat for example. The staff might think I am 'another attention seeking idiot ' but this way I take care of my health and I can have a small treat.
just fyi a lot of people who bemoan "fad dieters" would include you in that group.
just because someone isn't fully celiac doesn't mean they can safely eat gluten and bitching about people just like yourself is playing into that. lying about being celiac perpetuates the issue.
just like people saying that people lie about being autistic. i'm sure there's a tiny percentage of people who do that but it's very very rare.
Some people do it for attention like any other thing.
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5d
Oh I see. You're talking about people who don't mean they really think they're autistic. You mean people who use autistic instead of "stupid" in conversation.
Yes. People throwing around the diagnosis for attention or fun or whatever they gain from it
Yeah that sucks.
That’s not claiming to be autistic though? They’re using autism as an insult in a self-deprecating way, like when people say x or y is ‘so OCD’ or when they say something is r*tarded. They don’t literally mean that they think they have OCD, OCD is used as a perjorative synonym for obsessive and irrational. It’s still bad but it’s not faking a diagnosis.
That was a bad example. I just haven’t come across actual fakers in my own personal life. I’ve just seen them online. And obviously I can’t definitively say they aren’t actually autistic. These people just seem to make it their entire personality (obviously autism is a part of us, and therefore also our personality, but it’s not our entire personality)
I hope that made sense. I’m really not trying to offend.
As per Rule #3: No gatekeeping or invalidation.
Yeah, I get that. But still. Diagnosis is not available to everyone, it doesn't make them any less autistic. I just really don't like that it implies that we need some kind of proof for people to even take us seriously.
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5d
Well 'being diagnosed' is the proof ;) Meaning that if they'd say they hadn't been diagnosed, they would not believe them. I understand that self diagnosis isn't a very well known or accepted concept, but I still think that it's definitely not upto someone else to question it when someone says they're autistic, like it's up for discussion or debate. And that's what he did by asking for that. Otherwise, why ask.
I get that it's difficult when some people are asking for attention, but there's also an issue with that. Many are calling it attention seeking when someone, diagnosed or not, is just existing and talking about their lives and struggles. A lot of mental health talk is actually branded as attention seeking. So I want to be really careful with the attention seeking narrative. I'd rather give someone benefit of the doubt, than invalidate someone who didn't deserve that.
You say 'they want proof like with every other diagnosis', but that only goes for mental health diagnosis I think (that's probably what you meant also, I'm not trying to be exacting just for context). And that's also the main issue with it for me. I've never heard someone say 'have you been diagnosed', if they said they were diabetic.
As per Rule #3: No gatekeeping or invalidation.
“Didn’t mean it like that.” Than how else did you mean it lol? There’s no coming back from that.
right? people r so uneducated n insensitive…
They didn't mean to be offensive with their questions of "were you officially diagnosed" or not believing that they were autistic. At least that's what i understood.
There are people who misuse "autistic", so it might have felt like one was chasing a fad. But the official diagnosis told them that it is not a fad for one.
At this point I feel like it's the neurotypicals that don't know how to communicate properly
Always has been funnily enough
I feel like the only reason I offend people is because I overanalyze and think about other people's feelings too much. But apparently because I don't speak up right away, that means I don't care.
My communication issues in regards to social cues when I was younger came from a combination of trust issues and "I don't know how to respond, so I'm gonna keep quiet so I don't get in trouble." Nowadays it's a combination of trust issues and "I'd love to tell people that I don't give a fuck, but I got a job I need to keep."
I’ve been saying this from day 1, they are the rude ignorant assholes, and we are the only ones that actually consider anybody else’s feelings other than our own!! Sorry that got intense lol I just hate how we are the “wrong” ones, when clearly it’s the other way around.
I hate this whole acoustic thing, I'm pretty sure it started off as a thing autistic people were saying as a joke but now NTs are saying it and it's just annoying.
It’s so gross that it started at a cute thing within our community, and now nt use it as a replacement for the r word because they aren’t allowed to say that anymore.
Ew!! I am just learning this in this post and it makes me so so sad 😢😔
agree omfg i think it sucks they took the joke away from the community
I thought it was just an autocorrect thing; is it an actual deliberate thing? I’ve never seen it used like that before
No it's like a joke thing now, mostly used in memes
Yeah it’s a thing. “Is she acoustic” “what’s wrong with him is he restarted”. See a lot of these now unfortunately
Anyone who uses acoustic instead of the proper term autistic is a bad person in my book
But can I still say artistic
Yes, if it's used right. "acoustic" is basically used like the r slur, so like an insult to autistic people
What do they not understand in the word SPECTRUM???
people are so dumb 😭😭😭😭 also why did he insinuate being in seperate classes is like the most definitive way to tell if someone is autistic ??? there are other reasons why people are in seperate classes 😭
There are almost no separate classes anymore, either. Budget cuts. r/Teachers rails against it all the time.
I teach middle school at two schools and neither one has separate classes for special needs kids. Nope, the kid who rolls in the floor and screams in the middle of class is right in class with everyone else now. Yes, really. If you, the teacher, need the kid to go somewhere less stimulating (or to get them away from the people inevitably bullying them), you get treated like an incompetent by the SPED lead.
On the flip side, I've had many more formally diagnosed autistic kids in my classes that don't even see the SPED team. She writes their IEPs and then ghosts for the rest of the year. They get just as much support as we did in school - zero.
In NYC, the public schools have District 75 which is for kids with higher support needs (Includes mental, sensory, and physical, with subset schools within the district). D75 is not without its problems as I’ve seen on some Reddit threads, but I feel really fortunate/Lucky/happy that where I am, all of the adults are at bare minimum competent but most are giving their all.
Sensory corners! Swings! chewy toys! And none of our kids feels out of place if they go into crisis in the hallway or a classroom. I also think the proximity helps the Gen Ed students be compassionate about diversity. One of my lil guys grabbed an older GenEd kid’s slinky when we were passing him in the hall. Initially, I was panicking inside because I know how easily slinkies get messed up, but this older kid was just so patient, “that’s alright.” ☺️
If by "separate classes" they mean AP math and science, then yes, I was in the separate autistic classes.
"I didn't mean it like that," they say, after realizing that it was rude to mean it like that (which they only think because they happened to be factually incorrect)
When in a petty mood it's interesting to ask these kinds of people what they actually meant and watch them fumble. Most of the time tho I just get more annoyed by how illogical they're being
Why do people just assume autistic people can’t be self aware…
right 😭 my autistic friends and i are some of the most painfully hyper self aware people i know😭😭
It’s way beyond awareness, it’s self vigilance.
exactly ^
because they view autistic people as infants in an adult body
My snarky brain went “yep, AP.” when I read “as in you were in separate classes?”
(yes I know not everyone was, I was, that was my life and I’m allowed to talk about it, so my brain went there and I laughed internally at how I would have snarked at this person for being ignorant in my own way)
i should’ve said i was in “special classes” (smart kid classes) in hindsight 😭😭😭
Yeah I would have said, "I was taking AP calculus and physics in 10th grade, but people considered me to be very socially immature for my age." Because that was basically my experience. On the one hand everyone was telling me how smart I was, and on the other hand everyone was always disappointed in me for being so "immature" and "childish." I feel like if you were able to take pretty advanced classes and were generally considered intelligent then you didn't get the support that you needed with social skills and executive functioning.
🎶 not all of us need separate classes that's a myth, myth, myth, it's a motherfucking myth baaaybeeeeeh 🎶
"like separate classes?" yeah once when they thought about moving me up a grade cause I was too ahead and bored out of my mind :|
Yuuuup. They tried to skip me ahead and my parents wouldn't let them because of some shite about fitting in. I didn't fit in anyway.
Did that and I was still bored. Luckily I always had teachers that were cool with me reading or doing whatever as long as I was quiet.
And my answer would kind have been the opposite of OP, “not formally diagnosed… but I was affected enough to be in special education K-3 grade, and they just didn’t believe you could be autistic AND ADHD in the early nineties. The pesky inattention got noticed first.”
What makes me valid in your eyes, dude? 🤣
Do you suddenly not regret your words, if I don’t qualify as one of those “acoustics”? Why is that? 🤔 Would it be because you’re a phony ableist clown, who only regrets getting caught?
love this song 🎶🎶🎶
Peep my new single dropping on SoundCloud later today. 👀👀
Or whatever I would say if I was one of those people. 😂
I am, alas, a 44-year-old non-lady*. Terminally unhip.
*Not a man, neither.
HAHHA
I am also a Janet.
i needed a seperate class and never got it! i almost had to repeat kindergarten for not knowing math, but then by the time i reached 5th grade i was still failing math and science, (i’m good at reading and history i just never could do homework as a kid and my parents barely helped) struggling VERY hard, i was 9 years old with all Fs and Ds on my report card, but because of “no child left behind” i never got held back once. i dropped out in high school after i got sent to a delinquent school. i got sent there because i was failing so hard i’d never be able to graduate. the other students were there for committing crimes against other children, yeah i totally deserved to be at that school….i got my GED at 18, 2 years after i dropped out of high school.
Why would you need to be in a separate class? WTH? Lol
people r so misinformed it’s nuts 😭
I hope you told them that exact thing. Before you blocked them lol
Anybody who hands me "I don't believe you" or any version thereof about ANY of my many chronic neurological and other situations and afflictions can f*ck right off permanently. Every time. I was raised by narcissists who very nearly killed me with medical neglect, calling me a liar and saying I just "didn't like to work", refusing me treatment even for deadly childhood asthma, refusing me even GLASSES until the school forced their hand (it was all refused unless the school forced them). I DO NOT TOLERATE ONE BIT OF THAT SHIT any more.
so fair. you’re so valid 🩷🎀
Thank you (hug)
hugs !!!!!!
Just a complete lack of knowledge regarding autism in women. We’re much more likely to be perceived as socially adept because women are socialized differently to men. There’s less grace for us when we fuck up socially, and women are better at masking because of these reasons.
And even when we’re not socially adept, we must just be wilfully difficult, or depressed, or have a personality disorder. Make it make sense 💀
Don’t even get me started on the personality disorder aspect! I was misdiagnosed with BPD for the longest time because I was “a burden on everyone in my life” according to the psychiatrist 🫠
A medical doctor I met with once added Bipolar to my record. I had to be assessed by a psychiatrist before they would remove it.
I wasn't so upset at the diagnosis, but that I was doubted for knowing my own mental health history.
I'm sorry you had to deal with that, and I hope you know that you aren't a burden.
Oh, or we're "doing it for attention," there's no winning with these clowns.
Also, not to mention that most medical research purposefully excludes women. Because you know, it’s not like we’re human and more than half of the species. 🙄🙄🙄
I get the 'oh I didn't mean YOU' on a few different axes/for a few different reasons (immigrant/foreign/ethnic, AutiHD, physically disabled, and probably more I'm forgetting right now because brain fog is a bitch), and I can never decide which one is worse.
I think, now, maybe it's with the neurodivergence that I run into it more, these days.
‘One of the good ones’ is a commonly used tactic by bigots when they’re being called out. Like how my mum rants about a shadowy cabal of evil leftists brainwashing children and turning them gay, but when you point out she has gay friends and they’re just normal people trying to live their lives, she’ll go ‘oh but they’re different, they’re the good gays, not the ones with an agenda’
Yep, and I want to be like 'you think you're complimenting me but you're really, really not.'
This is so frustrating and invalidating when it happens. However, I am going to give this person props on being self-aware enough to realise their mistake. They also sound like they're more curious about you being autistic rather than trying to be invalidating. I think there are people who are quite taken aback by how well autistics can and do mask and are more curious about how we mask. There are also people who act like total dipshits simply because you don't fit their beliefs and they have no intention of changing them nor do they seem to be open to being educated on the matter.
I think there's a bit of overlap between these two categories and it can make navigating questions around the subject a challenge for all involved.
I could also totally be projecting my hopes onto this person, but they do seem a little different; like they're surprised and want to better understand rather than surprised and wanting to keep punching you into a box they designed for you.
Good on you for advocating for yourself! It sucks that you had to, but the fact that you did is brilliant.
i think the two things that upset me the most was 1. i didn’t mean it like that (what way did you mean then and 2. him saying he straight up doesn’t believe me those really hurt me, either way i hope he had a little google sesh after 🩷
Yeah, both of those points can be hurtful and frustrating. You're totally valid in your feelings! Please, don't take this as me trying to invalidate you. It's rare (at least from what I've observed), to come across someone open to better understanding as opposed to someone being dismissive and an asshole.
The part where he said he "didn't mean it like that" and his subsequent tone makes it sound like he is likely to take to Google for a bit and that he has enough awareness to realise that he hurt you.
I mean, I hope it's that because the alternative sucks worse.
Either way, I honestly hope it's resolved in a positive manner!
not at all! you’re super sweet !!! i hope he learnt his lesson and will be more graceful next time ❤️🩹
"properly" diagnosed
Oh sure, it's not like many people with mental conditions lack the resources to be "properly" diagnosed so all they can do at their current time is self-diagnose and desperately scramble for whatever meager support they can find on their own, but oh no, this person needs a "proper" diagnosis to put their "respect and manners" pants on. Let me guess if OP had said "self-diagnosed" or that they haven't been assessed by doctors yet, they wouldn't believe them, hmmm?
for sure .. maybe i woulda been hit with the “we’re all a bit autistic”
OMG the visceral hatred I feel when I hear that phrase, LOL!
hahahha same!
I’m pissed and it wasn’t even directed towards me.
Back in highschool I told my mother that I thought I am autistic and she told me that “you are too emotional to be autistic”. She worked with folks with developmental disabilities, too. The ignorance runs real deep in our society.
That’s why I don’t share my diagnosis with anyone lol💀
At the very least at least they didn’t give the canned response of “everyone thinks they have it, you just want attention.”
What attention am I getting, exactly? Oh that’s right, they just feel really uncomfortable when you point out they’re being ableist
Anyway yeah stuff like what you posted annoys me too
I feel that. My own best friend doesn’t believe me. “You pick up social cues and have been in a healthy relationship for years” like WHAT? Maybe because I MASK?
that’s so horrible i’m sorry :c i believe you 🫂
I needed to see this today.
Some rando went onto a year-old discussion to give me grief about self-diagnosis and said that "most autistic people don't know they're autistic." When I called out the ableism, they took a turn for the worse, so I blocked.
I always think it must be me, then stuff like this reminds me that it's often them.
i’m so sorry ˙ ᴖ ˙ sending u love
Allistic people using "acoustic" in this context will always piss me off
I just. Like. This is ableism right? How many people don't seek treatment for things because they feel or are told that they aren't "xxxx" enough?
it is and it hurt my feelings 😭 and yes that’s a major issue especially for women
I went for YEARS without seeking treatment for my ED because I thought I wasn't "anorexic" enough. I finally, finally, finally learned that it's ok to notice when things are outside of the typical, or the functional, and seek help for them. People like the above drive me nuts!! so tired of people trying to govern someone else's reality
agreed. took a long time to get help for me ED too because i wasn’t “skinny enough yet” to get help.. and it’s this kind of rhetoric that made me so doubtful 😔
“Your too socially aware” Did they forget that autism is a spectrum? 😭
😭😭😭
"Didn't mean it like that" oh but they did and only backpedaled once caught.
I am totally going to tell everyone from now on that I am acoustic... I mean, they don't understand anyway!
HAHAH
I think when people hear us say “autistic”, they immediately think of Level 3 and don’t grasp what spectrum means. Regardless, I’m sorry they disrespected you and talked down to you as if you don’t know yourself.
i’m level 2 but even if i were to say that to people they don’t even know what it is 😭 autism is so misunderstood people think it’s just one shade
properly diagnosed does not equal being in a separate class 🥴
"You were in a separate class during high school"
It's crazy that people assume that every autistic person has level 3 autism that requires being in a special needs classroom.
I tried to post something similar here a while ago but it wasnt accepted. My ex friend also told me she didnt think I was autistic because I had emotional intelligence, a good vocabulary and was nice. Tbh I was masking a lot of our friendship and it was only online. When I tried explaining that it was offensive to say that she doubled down, armchair diagnosing her mother with aspergers (which isnt even used any more properly) and said her whole life was horrible because of her mother and thats why she thinks autism is a serious disability and a horrible thing to have.
Also the fact there are no psychologists who know about autism in adult women in my country (and im sure many other places, or if they are there are really expensive and hard to access), an "official" diagnosis shouldn't be needed to be taken seriously especially by people who clearly know nothing about the subject
It's kind of nice when they show you their ass in the first 10 min of convo so you can dip
i am soooo fucking tired of “acoustic”
A special interest for me is communicating with people about their experiences. People say I make them feel like the only person in the world and like they feel super important and comfortable when they talk to me. I ask a ton of questions and practice conversations nearly 24/7 in my head.
lol can be autistic and also fixated on society.
Being socially aware doesn’t make me any less socially awkward.
“But you talk to people, but you make eye contact”
Yes and it’s ALL very uncomfortable to me.
I’m so over the acoustic jokes
People really do not have any idea about what to not say when you tell them you are spicy.
There are many things troubling about the other person's messages, like the assumption that if you're autistic you'll automatically be in "seperate classes". Woof.
Jfc why do some people feel the need to say things like that? It’s so rude and unnecessary
“As in you were in a separate class” uuuuuum
I don't self-disclose for this reason. A lot of people honestly have no idea what autism actually is. And it's just a headache having to deal with someone making a ton of unfounded assumptions and then having to educate them out of it. I just tell people directly what I am going to do (i.e. I'm not going to that party, I don't like how X smells, I will be staying home to relax) because people understand that.
It never fails to amaze me the way neurotypical people label us “stupid” and then say shit like that
It always feels like people push off the idea of functional autism out of fear that they themselves could possibly be operating undiagnosed for actual medical conditions. (even if they are actually NT fr)
I've lost count of the parents I've met who have kids who are "on the spectrum" who disown or disavow the possibility for themselves even when I feel like my "spectrum radar" is blaring. lol.
people are so asleep.
This is so sad. I’ve always been super high functioning. Now that I realize I might be autistic, my fear about getting tested is that I might NOT be, because then I wouldn’t feel comfortable hanging out on the best board on Reddit!
That’s not serving their children, who they are supposed to love and support. 😔But people in general are so afraid of what they don’t know and of what is not “normal.”
It’s what made me as a teen see “weird” as a compliment and “normal” as a diss.
Yep. Most Unique class of 2004... a superlative I lobbied quite hard for in my senior english lit class LOL. I only found out I'm autistic two years ago but looking back it made total sense.
I also feared getting evaluated because it was so expensive and and took so long.. I had to wait a month for the report.. by the time I went back I had convinced myself that I had wasted my time.. nope .. definitely autistic and my anxiety was so high they almost couldn't see the adhd LOL
Getting an official diagnosis really helped me but I totally understand the hesitance.. I've seen women my age be told by the doctor they don't want to "label" them even tho they check all the boxes.. super frustrating. Definitely do your research before picking a center.
This person's default way to talk to you as a human is just gross.
Hmm this is why I haven’t told anyone outside my immediate family and channels who needed to know. I’m not ready for these interactions
This is why I want to go for an official diagnosis even though a psychologist told me I was... bc I want to tell people yes...
First reaction: I’m so sorry! Those were really invalidating comments, and of course you are annoyed! Sending you big hugs!
Second reaction: that’s some ignorant ass, bullshit!! Mind you, I was ignorant, too… but also would’ve never told somebody that they were lying just because I didn’t have knowledge! RUDE!
I only knew one autistic boy growing up, very much fit the stereotype for a high support needs autistic boy. When I started working with autistic kids A year ago, I was like WAIT A SECOND! I’m seeing:
some really good eye contact
some RIDICULOUSLY high-level empathy and social awareness … I do some hard-core Oscar-worthy masking for a different issue that fools people who have known me for years. And little “Keon” who barely knows me is like “Are you sad? Are you mad?” Boy, how you know this? How are you seeing right through me?
And when I started doing my research, on the spectrum, ASD in women, queer people, non cis-males, POCs yada yada and realized that intense social awareness and empathy is just as much a part of the spectrum as its polar opposite. And it makes me so sad that this is not known! (And is also what led me to realizing, that I have so many autistic traits!…and it all started clicking into place 🥹)
All I'm saying is a bear never accused me of faking anything
HAHHAA
They do mean it in a mean way.
This is one of many reasons why I never disclosed my ASD to anyone outside of my immediate family until the last year. And I'm 36.
Tell him I am autistic but late diagnosed. I was in a separate class in school: GIFTED. 😂😂🤦🏾♀️ where do they get this stuff?
Always love the irony of NTs being rude and un empathetic when talking about someone’s autism
Man, I remember telling someone I was autistic. Mf said, “You don’t look autistic.” 🤦🏽♀️
Like,.. that's one of the biggest issues with autistic folks is NOT reading someone correctly.
They need to learn some freakin' tolerance, less they continue to be ablist.
"As long as they can walk wherever, we're fine." Like, no one would be cool w that statement right? It's blatently ablist, no?
This is similar, no?
That’s literally my biggest fear when sharing it with people. It’s so frustrating and invalidating. Suddenly they become psychologists 😂😂
Use of the word acoustic tells me to steer far clear of this dude.
Yes it bothers me too. I feel people question me too much and I refuse to explain myself anymore. If they don't believe me it's their problem.
and they really have the nerve to call US the socially unaware ones...
Sounds like my brother
My dear friend, please quit talking to this person. You don't need to take insults and condescending behaviour and explain yourself. That's not friendship 💕
i did 🩷 it was a guy i met on a dating app i ran fast 😭
“In separate classes”
If this is the U.S. it’s very rare for a student to be totally self contained in another classroom. The majority of my students are in general education classrooms. The majority of students with IEPs are in regular classes with everyone else.
i’m from australia •ᴗ•
If someone is trying to learn about you, but doesn't do it at your pace, it's not necessarily bad.
I'd have that annoying conversation 1000 times if I had to. At least the ignorant person is trying to understand.
Nobody has ever doubted my autism though. I wish I could mask.
I know high masking peeps see it as a curse, but masking ability does provide opportunities we can't get any other way. Nothing is ever all good or all bad, but masking ability leads to more good than bad overall.
Any allistic person that uses "acoustic" should have to pay the nearest autistic person $100
Block
where do you find the motivation to keep the conversation going?
i dont 😭 i let it fizzle
ah good! this is too ignorant to handle
Sis, me too! Also, yeah, that's annoying, like, what are they even aiming at? Are you trying to make me feel better about myself by doubting my disability? It's like... Like... Like "helping" someone's social anxiety by locking them up in their room
Won't even bother being friends with these people. They're always like "we never talk anymore!" We (they) never "talked" respectfully in the first place!
Not discounting anyone’s feelings here, because this is annoying, sure, but stepping back, not everyone in this sub even understands their own autism fully, so we have pretty high expectations of others sometimes who never even have our experiences. Why place on them the expectation to know and understand autism? In that chat, I see someone who doesn’t understand autism, an autistic person sharing with them that their perceptions are off, and the other person apologizing after learning they got something wrong. They didn’t mock you or persist with their thinking. We can get mad that they wanted “proof”, but I see it as they were just having their misconceptions blown wide open and wanted to know if it was an official thing. Idk. I give what I want to get. I want people to have patience with me and communicate clearly while I process, while forgiving me when I don’t get the social stuff right. It goes both ways, though. This person didn’t read the situation right, made an awkward joke about autism, got called out, took it back, etc. And now they’re shunned because they weren’t perfect and had some learning to do? I mean, if they all-around suck, sure, but if they’re a good person, do they deserve punishment?
i see what you’re saying and i agree with you, but it also depends how they approach it. had this person told me they were misinformed i would’ve taken it fine. but they said they “didn’t mean it that way” which to me i don’t understand what other way they could mean it!
also i do understand not all of them mean poorly but it is a very sensitive issue for a lot of autistic women who are already constantly questioned
Shouldn’t have to prove autism though. This person also said “I don’t believe you.” So many of us study social interaction. This person is just so dismissive. Asking and learning is fine but that’s not what’s happening here. You don’t have to understand something to accept it and take people for their word when they say they’re autistic.
In one of the public freakout videos I've seen, a cranky old lady tells the gay lady filming "You're not Gay! PROVE IT!"
I laugh out loud when I hear it. What kind of proof was she looking for, exactly? 😆
What you wanna bet a guy could literally be sucking a dick right in front of her or a woman making out with another woman and that cranky old lady would just yell "you're just doing it to make me look bad!" or some other BS, LMAO
Facts, I really didn’t understand the magnitude of the spectrum until this year! I assumed that the spectrum ranged from intellectual disability to genius, but didn’t know about all the other things it encompasses.
I don’t think ignorance in and of itself is a problem, because we are all ignorant of things; no one is omnipotent.
I think the big problem here is that he did not believe her (needed verification: diagnosis from an MD, school sitch-how is this his biz?), and he was insulting.
“I didn’t mean you were (Black, Jewish, Queer, etc.) like that.”
It’s the “like that.” What’s “it like” to him? Bad.
Yeppp, then we're the bad guys when we assert ourselves saying it's fucked up when people do this to us.