My fiance moved in with me 5 months ago. I upgraded us to a 2bdr apartment under the impression that she'd find a job and start paying a portion of rent. It's been 5 months and she hasn't secured a job because she's picky and won't work retail, grocery store, fast food, or basically anything involving customer service... She does doordash, but only if I'm with her for safety. Defeats the purpose since my job pays much more than what she could possibly get from Door Dash.

There's a concert coming up that she really wants to go to, but she doesn't have money for tickets. The tickets are $490, which I can afford, but I don't want to for a couple reasons;

  1. She hasn't gotten a job and it feels like she isn't being serious about getting one.
  2. I now pay almost 50% more rent for our new apartment.
  3. We recently procured some medical bills (both of us had a visit to the hospital recently), now we have $1500 of medical debt.

She's all up in arms about this now. Blaming me that she'll miss the last performance of this artist. All I told her was "I can't really afford to pay for those tickets. We have debt I'm trying to get us out of, and I want to continue saving for a house with what's left of my income.." Her response was that she'd pay me back when she gets a job, but I just said I can't afford it sorry.

Am I the ass for not buying this concert ticket for her?

EDIT: Didn't expect this to blow up. So many comments! I'm seeing a general consensus to either breakup, kick her out, or give her a deadline. I will consider these, and I definitely see how this is a major red flag now.

Something I forgot to mention is she lived in another state before moving in with me. So she had to quit her job. She's never had an issue with holding a job, but getting one seems to be the problem here, especially with how picky she is.

Thanks for all the comments and advice. I will be having a serious discussion with her before considering marriage. This was truly eye opening

IMPORTANT EDIT:

We had a good talk about this. She's going to get a temporary retail / customer service job until she can secure a desired job. She doesn't want to be a mooch and she admittedly told me she was just scared to go back to customer service. We agreed on a deadline of the end of July.

I still won't be buying her ticket since I'm not even the one going with her (it's her and her friend), but she understood why and is going to ask her friend to pay for it. Thanks for all the comments and helping me get through this.