Hello my inlaws both have aides all day 5 days a week. They are under the impression that they need to buy extra food for the aides to eat each day. Is this a thing or are they just being paranoid?
They cook regularly, so the cost of having to feed another adult 2 meals a day is spendy. I get that the inlaws want to be polite but they are complaining about the costs.
The problem I see now though is if they have been doing and now stop? What's spendy? You mean the aides are cooking, yes? At this point they might lose the aides. Who does the grocery shopping? who decides the menu? Maybe simpler meals and no prepackaged stuff that costs more?
The usual concept of aides 'cooking' is they warm up or make sandwiches not really cook. I did it as an RN because I was bored and enjoyed it but it certainly was not part of my job.
You make a good point. They have fed the aides, and it would/will be weird to just stop. One of the aides does cook some like put salmon in the air fryer sort of thing.
I would say if they feel they're spending too much for food maybe get on a budget. These days it's very hard to find good, dependable people you can trust. If they're happy with the aides don't rock the boat too much.
You sound like a wonderful carer!!!
I work in peoples homes and I’m often offered tea, cake biscuits, that sort of thing. I would not expect to be fed a full meal though. On a longer shift I’ll usually bring my own food.
This wasn’t a thing for my Mom when she had home health aides in CA. They brought their own food. Sure, she might offer them snacks etc from time to time but not buying food purposely to feed them.
My mother has a private sitter 5 days a week. 9a to 6p she makes them lunch and eats with them and makes and serves the dinner. She eats breakfast and her own dinner at home. We are grateful for her dedication to my mom and are happy to fees her lunch.
That is kind of you all.
She's phenomenal. Mom is in hospice care and my dad is a jerk. The least we can do is feed her lunch.
No
Thank you, this is what I suspect. My MIL.is buying extra salmon and dinners for them, they pay enough already, food is not.part of the deal.
We have aides every day. They prepare or obtain breakfast and lunch. Also dinner on Wednesday and Friday.
If we do takeout, we pay. (Friday lunch, Saturday and Sunday breakfasts and lunches are always takeout.)
We have an aide two nights a week, she reheats/plates food. I would not begrudge her any leftovers, but she eats before she arrives.
Otherwise - no, they are at work, not a social event.
Our aides are: Monday to Friday 7:30-1:00 Saturday 8:00-4:00 Sunday 8:00-3:00 Wednesday 5:00-9:00 PM Friday 5:00-9:00 PM
The inlaws will not pay for takeout, much too frugal. I think we need to get on a schedule for crock pot meals, and if an aide wants leftovers, by all means, let them have it. We will start to do shopping as well, so no one feels they need to buy food for the aides and their preferences. One did not like tuna, so my MIL bought salmon, that is not going to happen again, esp as these aides switch around after a few weeks through the VA and the company being used.
I understand frugal. Mine both like to split sandwiches to save money.
You didn't mention the hours that the aides work. Or if they are through a service.
If through a service (Vis Angels/Home Instead...), your inlaws should not be expected to feed them. If it's a more informal arrangement, it can vary.
I order groceries delivered to the door (or even refrigerator) from Wal-mart. There's still the rare mid-week run to the very nearby Kroger for bread or other things... I leave money in envelopes if the aide needs it.
Are your questions answered?
Thank you for answering. Hearing other's situations helps. We have the VA aides on weekends and a company for the weekdays. Also, each have their own aides and are split between a.m. aides from 9-4 then.p.m. aidss from 4-9. It's a lot to deal with.
Do you think your inlaws really enjoy the social aspect of eating with the aides? Would a budget for this be possible? Like, have a tea/snacks like you would do if company came?
Maybe your inlaws feel it's rude to eat in front of sometime else? I know this really bugged my Mom when she had a carer for a while. My mom felt obligated to buy them food.
I would never expect that on that job. But also the patients usually eat a lot better if we eat with them so I would just bring my own but still eat with them! Even when I worked in nursing homes they never provided meals. Snacks sometimes but not whole meals
Are they livein 24 Hrs a day aids? If so I at least would find it rather uncomfortable telling them to go eat a sandwich alone in their bedroom. Even in "servant days" they were allowed a hot meal in the kitchen with the other staff. Maybe otp for cheaper meals, pasta, rice, vegetables and more affordable proteine and keep the salmon etc for special occasions?
I feel like if the carer is cooking the meal then why not let split it three ways? The exception of course is heating up an individual meal. Then mom and dad get theirs and the care provider brings her own
I did some Private Duty now and then back in the day. I was not really good at sitting around and often cooked for the family and we would all sit together and eat. Mostly with this one lady I took care of for a year. She lived with her husband and his elderly father so we got friendly and I would cook and do extra things to keep busy. She taught me some great old recipes.
Then we'd play penny poker after dinner or bingo before I went home :)
Others I mostly brought a bag lunch. I'd say it depends, they don't have to provide food and I've heard people complain that the help would eat waaay too much food, in some cases food would seemingly disappear from pantry or fridge :( If they actually cook then I think offering to join would be appropriate?